Dogs and Bones

I got into the old argument the other night about whether dogs have suffered from civilizations, some say, "domestication." I got into it with a werewolf at a military reunion last week. Yes, werewolves do get into the military from time to time. Werewolves love the military in a combat AO. But they hate the military when in garrison. They are the worst peace-time and garrison troopers ever, always getting into trouble.

I told this guy that dogs are not wolves, that for one thing the diversity of dogs far out-spans that of wolves, in terms of size and color and numerous differences. Shepherds and huskies ad closer to the wolf archetype than the dachshund or chihuahua. But the difference between a chihuahua and a wolf is about the same as between Richard Simmons and a Special Forces operator.

This guy claimed that dogs cannot chew bones like a wolf. I told him that I have seen weredogs, in dog, were and human form, strip a bone and then make it disappear as if on-stage.

Vets say not to give dogs linear bones, like rib bones. One has to know the dog on that count, whether the dog is a fast eater, tends to eat too fast, and then is more likely to choke on bone fragments or to perforate some intestine. Flecka tended to eat too fast. Bella ate slow and methodical.

It's the same with people. Seems to me there are more poodle-people, chihuahua-people, and cocker-people these days. What would a cocker-spaniel do if you gave him or her an elk thigh bone? What would it do if let loose in the wild?

Dont get me wrong. I aint got a bone to chew here. But after spending last week with a bunch of old and young Special Forces guys, my perceptions of people is a little askew.

I told this werewolf that the real question is not who is softer from civilization, but "Who can fight?" He said, "How about arm wrestle?" I said OK.

In no time there was a crowd around our table. I'd drank about five beers. I hoped he'd had at least as many. He was about my size.

I beat him 2 out of 3. The wolves all howled in lament. Wolves howl over everything. They would have never stopped had there not been only 5 of them in there.

Later, as we all were leaving, that same werewolf leaned into me and said, with a grin, "I'll be wanting a rematch." I said, "You need to trim your claws. I know a good vet for that."