Nightmares

I have been having nightmares lately, about Italy, and about Nam. I fought in both places. Do you have any memories that haunt you, and no matter how much you chew on them, they just seem to wrap themselves tighter and tighter around your neck, until some nights you can't seem to breathe? Bella is on the floor right beside me, asleep, kicking. She must be chasing rabbits. I envy her. 

I am using Jack's laptop, checking my e-mail, my investments. The markets have been killing my portfolio lately. My accounts are way down. But, I have been around long enough to watch lots of markets to know that markets go up, and markets go down, and they go back up. The thing that worries me most is the falling value of the dollar. My dollar is buying less meat lately.

An emergency pack meeting is called or tomorrow night. Something is up. Didn't find anything solid the other night, in terms of werewolves. But other packs and other dogs might have turned something up. I am anxious to find out. 

Hailey, the cat, is curled up beside me on the couch. She, like Bella and Flecka, were very perplexed when they first caught onto my changing forms, from man to dog, and back again. But, she has also grown accustomed to it. The changing itself might have something to do with this. 

When a weredog changes it looks to the observer like a mild orgasm, except for the shifting physical form. On the other hand, when a werewolf changes, it looks painful, like he, or she, is going to explode. So much for the benefits of evil. 

I need to provide a little detail about my background. I know that. But, it is hard to know where to begin and how to approach it. So many years. So many wars. So many people. So many dogs. So much pain and love and regret and ...

I need to go now. I need to take Jack's vehicle and go find somewhere I can howl, long and loud. There's no moon tonight. I will howl without it.

Fresh meat to you.