New Trends: Doga, Dating, Panties

Some interesting new trends have crossed my radar recently.

Doga. It's the new yoga, for dogs and their humans. Saw it in the paper yesterday. The article said that doga studios are popping up all around the country, like 

Humans, you never cease to crack me up. Oh, don't get me wrong. We dogs appreciate being treated well. Table scraps after a steak dinner is next to heaven. But, come on. Get serious. Doga? Dogs doing yoga? What's next, dog choirs in church?

The chaturanga position is supposedly a popular position. To do that, I lie on my belly and you stroke m back. Hello? That is the favorite position of every dog who ever lived.

My 12 year olds date now. Of course what that amounts to is texting a girl for a week or so. They never actually go anywhere or do anything. Trust me. I would know. After about a week they start texting another girl, and they have moved on. Now they are dating someone else.

I am not sure how I feel about this. I am not their father, just their dog. But, what is this going to do for their social maturity? Is their first kiss going to be an asterisk? 

As I mentioned in a previous post, a new means of signaling interest amongst young women, such as in a bar, talking public places here, is to hand a guy their panties. They decide the guy is cute, then they go to the women's restroom, remove their panties, go back out to the guy, and hand them to him. No explanation required. 

Who thinks this stuff up? What girl first came up with the panty invitation idea? Should she seek a copyright or patent?