Dogs Get Some Helmsley Bucks

Today's paper shows that Leona Helmsley left billions to dogs.

Leona died last August. She let an estate and a charitable trust worth billions. The trust is worth $5 to $8 billion. 

She left $12 million to her dog, Trouble. All $5 to $8 billion is to go to dogs. That money could help a lot of dogs. But the terms of the will and trust are being contested. You can bet it is werewolves who are trying to get their claws on some of that. Filthy beasts.

Here's the whole article"

Helmsley . . . Left Them Billions

Does that seem odd, that a woman known as "The Queen of Mean" would leave billions to dog charities and nothing to people charities? Not to me. I have seen it many times, people, often women, who lose faith in people, and find it in dogs. 

I once went on a dog run with Jack in Lee's Summit. Afterward, we hung around with some of the runners and dogs, drinking energy drinks and doggy mineral water. I hate that stuff. Anyway, Jack was trying to make time with this morose women dressed in black running shorts and tank top. I had never seen goth running gear before. Listening to her talk made me want to call the morgue and ask if they were missing any corpses. But, when, somehow, the conversation shifted, and she, somehow, was able to start talking about when mankind would wipe itself out, and dogs would inherit the earth, she was absolutely luminous. Her dead, eyes took on a twinkle. Her fish mouth blossomed into a smile. Her back straightened and her head went back. Jack and I both were mesmerized. 

I was also mesmerized by her Irish Setter. Her name was Corine. I wanted to recruit her, to weredom. I wanted to mount her, right then and there, with all those other dogs around, and howl at the sun. I wanted to have puppies with her, to see how our coats and eyes and howls mixed in them. 

Then Goth Girl shattered it al by asking Jack if he wanted to go someplace and have sex. He just stared, his mouth gaping. She said, "But, I only do it doggy style. And me on top. Always." 

I have to hand it to Jack. He hardly missed a beat when she said that. He told her he had to get home. Corine snarled at me. I told her, "I think you got a mange spot on your on your rump." That was close.

Anyway, Helmsley and Goth Girl are not unique. There are many people haters in the animal movements. And there are more than enough animal, and dog, haters to go around also. But, that is another post.